Author: Matthew Rossi
Publisher: MonkeyBrain Books
Binding: Paperback
Publication Date: December 23, 2004

My last review was the Borges inspired A New Universal History of Infamy, a vivid and imaginative work, and my current read Things That Never Were: Fantasies, Lunacies & Entertaining Lies is bountiful in both regards. Matthew Rossi offers thirty-nine essays, in which he weaves tales by connecting the rational and irrational, in such a way we forget which is which belying the title of the book itself. Rossi’s blending of historical figures and their exploits and both Pulp stories and their creators showcased in Things That Never Were, pays homage to his obvious influences of the latter and his knowledge of the former that makes evident not only is Mr. Rossi obviously a great new talent as an author but a voracious reader himself. Mr. Rossi shows no discrimination in regards to sources for his creativity, seemingly adept at finding inspiration from an Encyclopedia Britannica, as he is an edition of the TV Guide. From Holy scriptures to the works of HP Lovecraft, Rossi’s sources are only matched by his creativity, and though one cannot define the plots or rationale of any of essay as seamless, the author’s free, and nonchalantly admittance of this in the narrative makes the matter moot as Rossi takes the reader on a guided tour of his musings. When reading Things That Never Were, the first thing that becomes apparent is that if you are ever lucky enough to get published you want Paul Di Fillipo (see The Steampunk Trilogy - as in go get it now) to write the forward. Not only is it a terrific introduction to Rossi’s work:

“Call it speculative-nonfiction, or crypto-journalism, or historico-literary ranting, or guided daydreaming, or collective-unconscious channeling, or edutainment disinformation, or fabulaic mimesis, or polymorphous perverse media-jamming, or any other semi-oxymoronic term you care to employ, so long as the new phrase conveys the proper sense of daring, erudition, obstinate refusal to accept consensus reality, playfulness, willingness to go out on a limb, than saw the limb away and all the other qualities traditionally associated with humanity’s greatest rebels, outcastes, eccentrics, visionaries, saint, madmen, and plain old bullgoose loonies.” Paul di Filippo

It’s daunting personally as a reviewer, because nothing I can add or no matter at what length would be more encompassing and correct in defining the brand of literature Rossi is peddling. I cannot imagine a better-worded description for Things That Never Were.  Rossi pens 39 essays ranging from three to nine pages in length. I don’t want anyone to mistake the size of these segments to be indicative of the quality of content and information contained in them, nor the entertainment value of them. Fillipo is again flawless in describing  Rossi in this regard:

“He is a fountain of ideas which in lesser hands would be used to populate about 200 novels”– Paul di Filippo

I could not agree more, as someone who even only writes recreationally how many incredible ideas were popping into my head reading this work, some already used by other authors, and some completely foreign to me. Rossi could have focused on any one of literally dozens of concepts he creates (or embellishes) and written a full-length novel on the subject that would not have been lacking to draw intrigue or interest in regards to its basis.

Things That Never Were is the ultimate ‘What if?’ collection (that’s not a knock; Jim Shooter, Gil Kane, and Klaus Johnson, were just some of name associated it this series) like the classic Marvel series, except Mr. Rossi is not limited in who he can use as subject matters in his issues, as human history, and even more, - what could have been, would have been - and perhaps even some of what really did happen (not to be confused with recorded history) is drawn upon by Rossi. Among some of the questions Rossi raises to entertain and enlighten involved Doc Holliday. Was he in fact the legendary mythical Fisher King? Were the gods of the Greek Pantheon gifted with powers of divinity or of discovered nanotechnology? Did the U.S succeed in making the USS Eldridge disappear from sight, and if so what do the likes of Mark Twain, and Lord Alfred Tennyson have to do with it? Did Hypatia, an ancient master scholar, theologist, and philosopher unlock the secrets of hyperspace 1600 years ago in Alexandorian? What is the link between Roger Bacon, perhaps gifted with the most adept mind of his time, and the Mongol Warlord who ruled half the world, Kubalai Khan? Is the secret code capable of instructing humanity in how to break the barriers between realities lying dormant in the works of Lewis Carroll, or is William Yeats’ Golden Key elsewhere? Just what exactly are Noon Blue Apples? (The answer may not surprise you). Another question, Rossi asks is based on this statement:

“California has an undeserved reputation for strangeness. Or more accurately the rest of the nation has an unfair bias against strangeness”

What secret destiny do the Boy Scouts work unwittingly to achieve? What secrets did novelist Jack London carry with him on his trips to the different corners of the world? What was the true extent and origin of Rasputin’s powers? What does HP Lovecraft have to do with all of the above?

Learn the answers to all of those questions as Rossi recites and weaves together with incredible imagination; his theories supported by writings by equally both diverse and ingenious sources from Umberto Eco, Robert E. Howard, Ballard, The Song of Roland, Borges, religious and spiritual texts, numerous history texts, online sources, movies and much, much, more. There is a tremendous amount of information Mr. Rossi relays to he reader, but never does the text over burden the reader, nor does it ever read like a historical document. Rossi chooses a narrative style that makes the reading experience seem like a personal smoke filled conversation between friends, often times deviating from the topic for a slit second to interject that he agree with you that certain connections are as mentioned above far from seamless. Things That Never Were was vastly entertaining, rather educational, and in my opinion a wonderful product and perhaps better stated, - a feat of imagination. No essay deserves to be skipped as each offers something that you haven’t read before, nor I think will read about elsewhere.

In conclusion, I recommend Things That Never Were to any fans of fiction, especially those whose interests are vested in pulp fiction, and those that are fans of what is called non-traditional fantasy, that is pure fantasy. I come away from my reading with another author who vaults on my “to read” list, as Rossi’s talent is evident in every essay in the collection. A complete pleasure to read, and as comfortable next to my copy of Eco’s Focault’s Pendulum, as it is next to my copy of Robert Howard’s Solomon Kane. This collection is worthy of Providence, Rhode Island, where a hallowed tradition of fantastic works of fiction resides.

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Topics: Collection, Matthew Rossi, MonkeyBrain Books, Short Fiction, Things That Never Were