Author: Rhys Hughes
Publisher: Night Shade Books
Binding: Hardcover
Publication Date: January 2004

Those of us that enjoy reading, whether novels or in this case reviews of novels, we are often confronted with certain commons adjectives used to describe these works or characters within them, as often misused as it is properly used, these term’s origins derive from past influential writers, or their works. We all know these words, one is Picaresque, which judging from the frequency one encounters this word in reviews you would think every other work is an example of a Picaresque work. The term of Spanish origin (picaro) is used to denote a novel chronicling a rogue character (not a criminal mind you, a fine line but relevant) often times humorously, often times, but not exclusive to autobiographical narratives, relying on wits, not personal capitol, and often conveying vividly a message about social castes. Novels that many would recognize purposely written in this style would be Twain’s Adventures of Huckleberry Finn or beatnik Kerouac’s On the Road. Another example of such a word is Dickensian, which is a term that seemingly every review of a book that takes place in London is used. The term of course is used in regards to characteristics associated with works by Dickens. Another word (and finally to the point) is Borgesian, which is derives from Jorge Luis Borges, mid-20th century writer and sketcher who penned Historia universal de la Infamia, which is now considered a highly influential, landmark of modern fiction containing short stories and essays and depicting stories whose subject are often of the unsavory variety, whether pirates, dictators, or common thugs or charlatans, involved in tales of violence, vengeance, spinning tales containing distortions of history/fantasy and harsh realism, and has to be mentioned in discussions pertaining to the influence if not the origin of the Magic Realism movement even though by later definition the broader post-modernist description is probably more apt.

Unlike many mislabeled efforts the novel that is the subject of this review is Borgesian, down to the title, yet more importantly its author, Rhys Hughes, in a admittedly audacious attempt, perfectly finds balance with his offering of homage to the work that was a great influence to him and leaving his own unique mark. What does Rhys Hughes bring to this classic? The incomparable John Clute remarks in his finishing words within the forward:

“madcap an pedantic, hilarious and depressive, chocabloc and emptied of all echoes, metropolitan and provincial, glittery and blacker than black. It is time to close this introduction. It is time to dive into Pandora’s box.”- John Clute

I’m going to briefly touch on the various subjects of Mr. Hughes first. To begin A New Universal History of Infamy, Mr. Hughes, following the tradition of the original, offers seven short stories, each chronicling and fantastically embellishing the exploits of infamous figures. The first is entitled “Brutal Buddha” Baron Von Ungern-Sternberg, a story that derives from the historical figure Baron Roman Fyodorovich Ungern von Sternberg, a German sent by his government to Mongolia to establish military presence in who became infamous for his brutality and tactics of torture, who later carved out a personal empire, as a Warlord, and strangely enough desired to reestablish the Chinese Qing Dynasty. Mr. Hughes spins his tale of the same man, driven by Buddha to the degree that he did the opposite of the religious doctrines to prove his belief. As brutal as his historical counterpart, and Hughes spin on his morale motivation, levied through brutality and torture, definitely sets the tone for the rest of the novel, although admittedly it was my least favorite of the short stories.

The second, called the “Honest Liar” and deals Denis Zachaire a historical “transmuters” or alchemists of the middle ages, and there quest to turn other objects to gold. The short story tells the story of some of the famous practitioners, whether professional charlatans, or true intellectuals who dedicated themselves into unlocking the secret. It also tells how Inquisition viewed alchemy as crimes of sorcery and the justice branded by the infamous organization, but Mr. Hughes of course levies his spin, which actually makes so much sense one might mistake it as truth:

“The Suspicion that official harassment of alchemist had more to with frustration at their unprofitability than of hatred of magic should be raised”

The stories title character is again a historical figure that sought like many others the Philosopher’s Stone, which is known in history/fantasy as a legendary substance that could not only turn mundane metals to gold, but also grant eternal life. Denis was a man who in history pretended to find this stone, but of course did not and died in relative obscurity and supposed poverty. Mr. Hughes offers another conclusion.

The third story, Chewer of Hearts is of Francois L’Olonnais, and tells of the origin of the buccaneer. In the very beginning of the story he differentiates to the reader he is not writing of a truly mythic buccaneers popularized to us in movies but true buccaneers:

“The Buccaneer of reality is a grosser figure, less inclined to tenderness or elegance. His main motivation is booty, and he is willing to acquire it at the extremes of mortal behaviour. This might include dancing with intestines or roasting nuns on a spit.”

Note Hughes states “mortal” behaviour, not moral behaviour, there is no place for morals among the infamous, and Francois was no exception. Francois, a noted ruthless pirate who among other things, while interrogating a prisoner, and unsatisfied with the given information cut the man’s chest open and ripped out his heart and began to eat it. The other prisoners afterwards could be described as garrulous (that’s real history, not Hughes adlib).

The subject of the fourth story, Trader of Doom Basil Zaharoff, is about a man who played a huge role in history from mid 1800’s to the 1930’s from starting in essence as a pimp in turkey, a major arms dealer of both sides of conflicts, being on the ground floor on Monaco casino’s, a oil mogul, and marrying a former Dukes wife, Zarharoff is known historically by such titles as “merchant of death” and the “mystery man of Europe”, and another title, Hughes proposes, which is slightly more enviable, perhaps the richest man who ever lived.

Francisco Solano Lopez is the subject of the next piece, The Worm Supreme, a former President of Paraguay (1862-1870) his true nature in history is skewed, some thought of him as an obscenely arrogant, who fashioned himself “the Napoleon of the South”, or in stark contrast a symbol against imperialism. It cannot be said Lopez passed without impact however:

“Lopez managed to sacrifice an estimated 95% of his male population.”

The next story was one of my favorites within A New Universal History of Infamy, and was based on famous; pardon me, INFAMOUS, highwaymen in England during the middle Ages. Hughes gives us a run down on many colorful characters in the segment entitled, The Worst Hero, before focusing on Dick Turpin, a figure of some romantic worth as a highwayman in English tales. Mr. Hughes says of the bandit from Essex:

“The country of Essex was notorious for the low level of education of its citizens. Turpin decided they were to clever for him so he moved to London”

The Maddest King, about the reign of Henri Christophe, the former slave and later president/King of Haiti (1811-1820). Within these seven stores, some better than others, admittedly, Hughes achieves what I definitely say as a compliment, and that is not embarrassing himself in his homage, that would not doubt be closely scrutinized due to the title of the novel alone. Hughes found a successful combination of humor, wit, violence, while adding his dosage of the fantastic and successfully accomplishes exactly what Clute sums up nicely in the forward:

“To be influenced by Jorge Luis Borges of 1933, is precisely not to be like Jorge Luis Borges.”

The next segment, as in Borges original is the main story. Borges’ version was entitled “Streetcorner Man”, Hughes’ Streetcorner Mouse. This was Borges’ first original story and one that is he is very famous (not infamous) for. Borges’ tale, playing on the stereotypical of young “knife wielding, thugs, congregating in a dance hall of his Argentinean heritage, Hughes use the opportunity to do the same with his version, using Welsh elements. Hughes’ Streetcorner Mouse epitomizes the body of A New Universal History of Infamy, and that is Hughes gives ample credence to the spirit of the story, but drives the still synonymous plot, with an incredibly imaginative story that could be described as a Welsh/Borges story “through the looking glass”, in a Welsh Pub amply named the Tall Story, whose patrons are shape-shifters. In a musicians duet-duel, Rhys engaging narrative is evident:

“The music he mouthed became metaphysical, beyond our comprehension. It seemed to already exist above and behind and within everything. It was indescribable, so I won’t try again, even with elaborate metaphors. Then it was over, vanished. We were left with a savage emptiness, as if we had lots the most precious thing we’d ever owned, which was our complacency.”

The next portion of the novel, still paralleling the original structure is Hughes’ ET AL, his answer to Borges’ Etcetera, and is a collection of shorts. These works are original writings by Hughes although he does as Borges did attribute or dedicate them to other writers, in Hughes’ case to the current author of such wonderful works as Secret Life, Jeff VanderMeer. The first of which is among a few other sections is my favorite story within the novel entitled “City of Blinks” which is an incredible story simply yet completely describing the checks and balances systems of a state that is governed by a system of mass surveillance and brilliantly tell us how simply, even if against probability that it can fall. Really an example of an incredible piece of writing. Next, “The Landscape Player”, a 2-page effort in which a footnote alone about a musician’s former gig locations provides readers a certain familiarity (Atlantis, Chaud-melle, Ambergris, Mirenburg, and, Viriconium) in setting. Following that, the “The Spanish Cyclops”, a tale of a giant eyepiece and a whirlpool. “The Unsubtle Cages” seems Lovecraftian but is dedicated to Thomas Ligotti, another extremely talented writer. Celia the Impaler, a 2-page erotic story about a woman who has made six of the Seven Wonders of the World succumb to her, and her attempts at the last, The Great Pyramid of Cheops. Alone with Longwinded Souls a supernatural story ascribed to DF Lewis. “Monkeybreath” (Halitosis Simians) is the name of the next short, and a condition in the mold of an ascribed to Thackery T. Lambshead Pocket Guide to Eccentric & Discredited Diseases, an anthology categorizing strange conditions that was edited by the aforementioned VanderMeer and Mark Roberts, with contributions including a virtual who’s who in the industry, Mieville, Moorcock, Gaiman, Moore, Baker, Chapman etc. The “ET AL” portion comes to a conclusion with a paragraph,“The Exactitude of Theology”.

The last portion of the nove,l like the original offers 3 stories. The First Finding the Book of Sand, along with already discussed The City of Blinks and the forthcoming “Ictus Purr” are the stories I enjoyed the most. Finding the Book of Sand which is a book written by Borges about a book with infinite pages, that Hughes’ uses as the subject of story of that book, to weave a remarkable story behind the scientific qualities such a book would possess such as the capability to serve as a cheap, unlimited energy source burning the pages (that were infinite) which served to heat a water source into steam that powers a electrical generator. This is remarkably witty as in the original story the narrator decided not to follow such a course as he thought perhaps, due to his thinking that an infinite number of pages may eventually “choke the world with smoke”. The narrator in Hughes’ version knows otherswise however:

“I knew that not every page could catch fire, because they were without limit. Only a finte number of pages would burn…”

This story is remarkably entertaining, and if you desire to know what happens when you throw a book with a infinite amount of page…well your going to have to read the book:) The second to last story is ”The Hyperacusis of Chumbley Mucker” a story ascribed to Science Fiction writer John Sladek about a boy, Chumbley, whose treatment of highly sensitive hearing causes an apocalyptical ending. The final story and as mentioned one of my favorites is “Ictus Purr”, whose contents are given warning by its title “A Parody of Myself in the Style of You”. This short is about a band that is recruited to take a gig in another universe in an effort to deliver them a Moon. The members of the band include a drummer Huw Rees (Rhys Hughes), a florescent haired singer Neil, Kate, who played instruments she found in tombs of ancient monarchs, and the lead guitarist Richard Cowell, who among other things grew the best marijuana in the region. “Ictus Purr” through shear imagination effectively caps and substantiates that although A New Universal History of Infamy is without questioning homage of Borges’ masterpiece, it is also more importantly also a masterpiece by Hughes.

Although I know this book won’t appeal to the strictly genre-fantasy fans, it should appeal to those that recognize magnificent, imaginative literature (which is what I though fantasy was anyway, but I digress). A New Universal History of Infamy puts Mr. Hughes on my must read list, and I recommend this novel to all, and my final grade for the collection is a 9. The read is such an experience I can only detract from the grade would be because some of the stories didn’t match the height some of the ones I enjoyed the most. Truly a rare read, to Mr. Hughes I would say, quoting his character Jackfruit Burst, “Nice hashish, by the way. Thanks.”

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Topics: A New Universal History of Infamy, Collection, Ministry of Whimsy, Night Shade Books, Rhys Hughes, Short Fiction